One of my friends posted a bunch of reasons dogs are better than kids. Dogs can be alot of fun, and yes, it is legal to leave them home all day locked in a bathroom, but seriously. I don't even think that should be legal! And if you need to lock your dog in a bathroom all day, what is the point? So here is my argument for why kids are better than dogs. And it is finally in list form becaue I figured out what I did wrong!!
1) Although poopy diapers are yucky and poopy pants worse, they sure have cute hineys and you just don't see the excitement a kid exhibits at doing it "by myself!" in a "big potty!" Oh, and my kids use toilet paper. Dogs lick themselves...then they lick your face. NASTY!
2) Dogs don't give cookie and frosting kisses. Yummy!
3) Dog breath stinks, no way around it. At least you can get a kid to brush his teeth! When you do brush a dogs teeth it is with lamb, beef, or some other flavor that still smells.
4) While kid poop can be pretty rank, dog poop ALWAYS reeks! And you can't just flush it, your neighbors get to smell it, too. And if you don't clean it up everyday, they get to smell it alot. Be thankful kids don't poop in the back yard. Even little dog poop smells.
5) My kids slobber doesn't smear the car window after they have hung their heads out at 35 mph, and dry before it crusts. It does often end up on brothers resulting in a fist fight...OK, dogs win there.
6) Dogs don't put their arms around you and ask if you are OK, then try to make it better.
7) I don't care who else does, I will NOT share my ice cream with a dog, or let him lick off my peanut butter spoon. Heck, I send them out side for looking at me when I eat. SO not OK. That's like a dog eating up to the table with us.
8) Still can't stand dog kisses. At least if my kid stinks I can still get one on the cheek.
9) There is a reason people say "Eeeewww! It smells like wet dog!" No one likes that smell, not even dog owners can stand it. Thus groomers and soaked bathrooms. Which, by the way I make my kids wipe up after themselves. No dog will ever bathe in my house. That smells worse.
10) There is no way to explain this to people who don't have kids. A kid can be a serious challenge, they even run away sometimes (like dogs), but there is no comparison. Not when you hold them, not when they bring home hand prints and homemade Christmas ornaments. And especially not years later when they come home for dinner with their own babies. Puppies are cute, but nothing compares to posterity and a new life. And kids live longer!
Oh, and dogs have the mentality of a 4 year old...permanently.
So, to all dog lovers out there: give Fido a scratch behind the ears and a tummy rub for me. Then please pick up his public poops. Parks were built for kids, and so was my front lawn, so Fido beware!
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